Marc Paolo’s blog

Who said long distance relationships don't work?

Alright, it's been a while since I've posted on here and all I've got to say is I've got a new project coming up. It's a collaboration with D2DaEye. Ok, so It's not so much as a collaboration, it's more of an adaptation of one of his blogs, haha. Anyways, thanks again DI for giving me the rights to create a short scene on film.

Ok, for those of you who know me and my film making past I'd say I've accomplished a lot within the comedy aspect of it. Well, here's something different, something with a little more drama.

Real Folk Blues is a short film about a boy who's love for someone has gone over the edge.

Have you ever thought about someone so much that every thought makes your heart beat faster that it hurts? Or that you just want to fire a gun into the temple of your skull? Not to die, but just to kill those thoughts and feelings residing in your heart and mind. Is that what you can consider love? If it is...Shit. What a dilemma that one can put themselves into. Stuck between choices. Choices in which the outcome will never be positive. In one hand, you've got the chance to tell someone you truly love them, and not have the favor returned. On the other, the chance to just keep your feelings bubbled up inside. A secret you will forever hold. A secret that will eat at you every time you see this person talk to someone else, laugh with someone else, cry to someone else, fuck someone else. Jealousy reigns supreme if you decide to keep your feelings inside. It seems that there is no positive outcome in this situation. If you do decide to tell that "special" someone how you really feel, you run the risk of awkward meet ups, awkward conversations, and  a just friends mentality. Now, let's change the situation a bit. Let's say you've already told this person you liked them before, and that already lead to nothing but immature arguments, hate, and later on, a better friendship than before. Would you really want to run the risk again? Would you want to ruin a much better friendship? You already know how they feel about you, and there seems to be no change since a year has passed. I'm stuck in my own movie of a life. I'm searching for my movie script ending to help me end my situation. It's been two years already since everything has started. Every choice i've made so far already makes it seem like we should be together. Am I really that willing to wait and see if anything will happen? I guess this will be the only time i'll really be patient with something, or someone for that matter.

Haiku's that connect

Few know the real me.
I'm picky with the people
In whom I care for.

And with those people
I thought that they would care too.
I guess I was wrong.

It's time to move on.
Stick with the original
Friends that were there first.

Well, what can I say? The headline pretty much sums things up. Something good finally came along, and for about three months I thought something better would come out of it. But, through awkward conversations, 3 minute intervals of nothing but silence, and one-word responses my immature side finally caught up with me. I avoided these conversations, and for what? Just so I wouldn't have to deal with them anymore. I thought I grew up slightly, but I guess it just wasn't enough. I basically did what I didn't want to happen to me. Funny how hypocrisy works like that. Not really, but you know what I mean. Everything started off great. Late night phones calls each lasting about 2 hours, average. There I was, laying on my bed and talking on the phone, thinking that this person is great. So many things in common, same humor, she was basically everything on my Radius of skill. refer to previous blog for that. She was everything that I could ever look for in someone I could start a relationship with. But, I guess i'm really just not ready for a relationship if I can't even solve a small problem like awkward and tense phone conversations. I always complain that i'm left in the "just friend zone" but, maybe that's where I do my best. I love my best female friends to death and I would do anything to make them happy. Isn't that an aspect that girls look for in a relationship? Well, I already know I can do that, but why couldn't I do that with this one particular person? Is it because we didn't really start off as friends? Well to answer that part of the question, if that were the situation, then she would probably just be another good friend of mine. There would be no connection on a relationship level. I'll fully take blame, because well, she did her part to keep in contact while I just sat there, watching TV or playing the Wii. Not hearing the phone ring but, when I see I missed a call I didn't make the effort to simply press two buttons on my phone. Well, there is really nothing I can say or do to make things any better or to take it back to how it was in the beginning. I just have to learn from the wrong i've done. And hopefully, just hopefully, I don't make this same immature mistake the next time I find someone. Which will probably be a while. All I can say to her is, i'm sorry, honestly. I should have been the bigger man and actually said something earlier. But, as it turns out, I ended up being the pussy.

As finals end and summer vacation begins all I can say is, it's been a pretty chill semester. Nothing, too, out of the ordinary. It's all been pretty routine. I must say though, this has probably been one of the easiest and more fun semesters i've taken so far. All the classes I did were pretty fun. And if I were to pick a class that I would miss then it would probably be my acting class. Everyone was pretty chill and I actually kinda got to be myself in that class. Other than that, the music room is my new favorite place to be haha. I've met a couple of people in there that are pretty chill and they make breaks during classes a lot more bearable. So, I guess that wraps up my semester haha. Nothing too special. I passed most likely, but we'll have to see next week haha. Ok, well I hope everyone has a chill summer. Be cool, be safe.

So i've actually given this some thought you guys...kinda, ha. And i'll follow the format that you guys did in the sketch book. And the list is in no specific order of which is most important.

Paolo
Can handle my sense of humor
has a sense of humor
low maintanance
hard working
goal oriented
strong yet timid
a movie goer
cultured
respectful
family oriented
honest
relaxed but not lazy
down for whatever (chill haha)
stays true to herself
faithful, both in God and a relationship

Well, it's been almost two weeks already since the cotillion has come and gone. I must say though, i'm gonna miss all the good, and even the bad, times that i've had. Practices were sweet, and the actual cotillion was even sweeter. Although I didn't get to finish the movie I still had the slideshow to present, which was cool. Other than that, it has just been school and such. Midterms before spring break, papers, and presentations. All in all the weeks prior to spring break has been pretty swell. Which brings me to spring break. Nothing special has really happened. The only thing so far is that I finally moved to the new house. The old house with the pool is officially sold. I'm gonna miss that house, so many good times with the fam and such. But, this new house is pretty chill. It's a lot smaller which will make it easier to maintain next semester when i'm living alone. Woo. So, next semester come visit me. We can Wii it up or just fucking watch a movie hah. Other than that, I watched TMNT last night. Let me tell you now, weak ass story, but still fun to watch. The fighting scenes make them more "martial arts" like. And for the rest of the break, i'm actually finishing up that movie that I was suppose to finish for the cotillion. So when I finish i'll be sure to show you guys. Well, i'll post back later. Gooddays and goodnights.
-ShoPaolo

As the week slowly comes to an end so do the hopes of finishing my project. As told in the previous blogs, i've been on the haps of filming a short film for my friend's cotillion, which is tomorrow by the way. So throughout this week i've been bombarded with sorrowful family events, papers, airport trips, filming and practice. I finally finished filming on Wednesday and Thursday which totally brought my hopes up that it might be possible to finish the movie in time. As Friday rolled around, my only editing day, I woke up hopefull. All my positiveness suddenly broke when I was told I had to be home by 1 because the plumber was coming. That fucking killed my day because, that meant, there was no possible way I can finish editing in time. After that everything just went downhill from there. All stress has built on top on my shoulders like how Atlas holds the globe on his. But, I broke, I just couldn't take this shitfull week anymore. So I did what I told myself I would try not to do anymore; I overreacted. I affected everyone around me and they just joined me in my "Fuck this shit" attitude. So I know what I did was bad but, it was my first film that I would write, direct and edit and all of that just went down the drain. Which brings me back to the plumber, that fag didn't even show up. So yeah, most people wouldn't make such a big deal about it, but this is what I want to do as a career. I want to make films. How am I suppose to do that though if I can't even finish a short film with friends? I think that's what got to me the most. Just the fact that the career that makes me the most happy suddenly made me feel like shit. Yeah, it applies to every job, but I guess it was just my time to learn that what i'm going to do in the future can be considered one of the most competitve work fields out there. Eh, I still decided to finish what I started, but it's not the same because no one at the cotillion is gonna be able to see it. And, that's what I wanted to do. I wanted to show my work to a public that won't be afraid to criticize, to help me improve and fix what i've done wrong. But, i'll just finish it for the sake of me and everyone else that was in it so it won't be a complete waste of time with all that filming we did. As for whoever reads this, i'll probably let you guys watch it when i'm done. So gooddays and nights.

-ShoPaolo